I came across this item in today’s BBC World
And was intrigued by it
My elderly aunt never married and never had children that anyone knows about she lives in the North and is now 98
No one of her peer group is still alive and there were never any family where she chose to live and work.
She has retired to her room in residential care and no longer goes to the dining or recreation room. As she does not want to experience the humiliation of incontinence herself or witness another bearing the humiliation.
She reads, watches her favourite programs and that’s the sum of her day.
Occasionally she will pick up the phone when you call but her hearing is not good and she hates the hearing aid
Last time my youngest sister and I took our mother, her sister in law to visit they sat and traded health issues!
Until we said please is this a competition or can we talk about something else?
I cried inside whilst there and then cried unashamedly later.
It was heart breaking but then whom am I to say she is content enough. Chats to the carer’s and knows the teams they favour and the results!
It is not what I have in mind for myself
Children or niece’s and nephews are not an insurance policy
”I didn’t want to go to a pub and have unprotected sex with someone who’d had no STD checks
She had wanted children since she turned 30 and was envious of friends who were starting families. She was also shaken by a visit to her aunt in hospital. Her aunt didn’t have children, and Jessica believed she had been ignored by doctors as there had been no-one to insist on better care.
“I thought there was a risk of me ending up in a similar situation if I had no kids of my own. They can act as insurance for when you get older.””
Mother is now in her 91st year and has resided in a fab mini copy of her home with Daddy [Daddy departed in December 2013]for these past two years
There is a 24 hour alarm and carer’s come in daily
This doesn’t mean that she is ‘safe’ but she has her own home with her furniture and things of importance around her.
Again children are not an insurance policy
I have two children and relationships are difficult with more than 8 hours flight time between us all and it is me that is outside UK.Believe me they are definitely not an Insurance Policy
As Khalil Jibran says and I quote the opening stanza with which i agree
”They are not your children
They are the sons’ and daughters of life’s longing itself
They come through you but not from you
And though they are with you they belong not to you”
Your children are not yours they are theirs and will live their lives not yours.